Ugh.

Which is rather lame. A lot of shit stuff beat me but that’s just the way Newgrounds is.

To my competitors out there… eat a dick.

Love me.

My thoughts exactly, Mike.

These appears to be some confusion but it appears that Mike Swick will headline the card so far, against a fighter I’m not very fond of for some reason in, Jonathan Goulet. The confusion lies in that up until recently no one could really decide whether these two were on this card or the TUF 8 finale.

Other bouts added to the card include:

• Steve Bruno vs. Luke Cummo
• Frankie Edgar vs. Matt Wiman
• Luigi Fioravanti vs. Brodie Farber
• Eddie Sanchez vs. Justin McCully
• Dale Hartt vs. Corey Hill
• Nate Loughran vs. Tim Credeur
• Ben Saunders vs. Brandon Wolff

The card is looking pretty thin at the moment with the only fight I’m very excited for being Edgar vs. Wiman. The UFC could be spreading themselves pretty thin in December, with three events set to go down.

Hopefully some “oomph” can be added to these cards in the coming weeks.

Also of note, according to Bloody Elbow’s Grand Dragon, Luke Thomas, Ft. Bragg – the location announced by the UFC for the December 10th show – has not been approved yet by the military.

Tis a bit strange.

Come Oct. 4 Arlovski gets to beat up a fat kid

The bout will be presented as an Affliction and EliteXC co-promotion.

I did not see this coming. I for all money thought EliteXC was just going to limp dick it in with in a show heavy on mismatches and high on freakshow but Affliction has stepped up in an act of trying to stay relevant in order to give both companies a bit of spice.

Any chance I get to see Arlovski smash a dude is always good for me, so I might actually watch this live as opposed to catching the videos when they are updated a few hours later.

The EliteXC/CBS televised card is as follows:

• Kimbo Slice vs. Ken Shamrock
• Gina Carano vs. Kelly Kobald
• Andrei Arlovksi vs. Roy Nelson
• Jake Shields vs. Paul Daley (for EliteXC Welterweight Championship)
• Murilo “Ninja” Rua vs. Benji Radach

Hank drinks himself into unconsciousness

It has gotten very favourable reviews and even Kudos from the creator himself but I’m still receiving no love from the front page.

I have only reached the front page once and that was for my submission, “Peacefully Pondering Pico” which was another flash for a celebratory day on Newgrounds. That time it was Pico Day. I completed my flash in 24 hours and was a spoof of the awesome TV show, Dexter where Pico assumed the role of the Dexter Morgan character in a Newgrounds based environment.

I was on the front page for all of 2 hours until I got replaced by a flash entitled, “Pico takes a shit”.

It was rather demeaning. Especially after I watched that, pun fully intended, piece of shit film. Close up shots of arseholes defecating into a toilet. Motherfucking Oscar worthy.

I remain cautiously optimistic.

No further comment.

The good folks over at Cage Potato recently had a caption contest to hock some of their “Hall of Fame” shirts. The picture issued for the task was one of Verne Troyer posing with TUF 7 champ, Amir Sadollah.

Just for shock value I came up with the most politically incorrect caption I could think of. Hilariously, I was awarded one of the prizes.

The caption you can find here.

I apologize world but if it is any conciliation I probably won’t get the shirt as I live in Australia.

Lame.

Soon...

Whether it be a humble goal such as Fightlinker’s to make a living off of penis jokes or FiveOuncesOfPain’s goal to remove all fun and excitement out of their website there should always be some achievement driving you. Otherwise things become boring which leads to complacency which leads to a severe case of laziness which then leads to something resembling this.

So I shall unveil Goal #1 for Flash KO which is to be recognised in Bloody Elbow’s meta rankings.

I must admit to having a bit of a man-crush on the Bloody Elbow meta rankings.

For too long I have been looking through the spasticated top 10′s of many an MMA blog and seeing how almost all sites had one total brain fart in their rankings that completely  screwed with their credibility. I’m aware all rankings are opinions and they can’t be wrong exactly but sneezes rice how the fuck MMA Weekly POSSIBLY had Denis Kang in the top 10 for so long after losing dramatically to mid to top level guys in the form of Mousasi and Akiyama is beyond me. Lettuce not even mention the train wreck that is Fight Magazine’s rankings.

Then one day out of the blue, a shining beacon of hope in the form of Bloody Elbow’s meta rankings appeared. A ranking system that takes together all the retarded ranking systems out there and then averages them out so we have an accurate representation of what the MMA world as a collective believes.

This process essentially weeds out unique oddities that seem to be prevalent in all MMA rankings and gives us what rankings should be.

That being said, these rankings still don’t share my opinion which I, as a righteous MMA blogger, believe to be superior to the rest. So I shall commit the sin of any upstart MMA blog and attempt a ranking system.

For the greater good.

But I want it NOW!

Kevin Iole writes:

A very good source told me on Tuesday he expects Jackson and Silva to fight Jan. 31 (Super Bowl weekend) in Las Vegas in UFC 93. It’s a very fluid situation, but it’s almost certain it won’t happen in November and it’s very unlikely for December.

If this is true I can’t be too pissed off about this as the card is still fuckin’ stacked but it is still a bit of a letdown.

The UFC also probably can’t be too thrilled with this as if we are to believe Michael Rome over at Bloody Elbow then UFC 91 really needed this fight so as to provoke fans to buy the outrageously priced tickets.

I’m not sure whether the UFC will bother booking another massive fight as a co-main event seeing as they could simply promote Florian vs. Stevenson to that position.

All in all though, I highly doubt this will have as massive an effect as Rome thinks it might. Provided Griffin vs. Evans is booked for December and Rampage vs. Silva is added to UFC 93: St. Pierre vs. Penn then your traditional Vegas UFC goers will still show up even if it means going without food for a while.

In all his glory...

I don’t now as they are as retarded if not more retarded than the Sherdog forums. I guess that’s just human nature. You put a large amount of humans into one area it’s more than likely there collective conscience will breed dickhead or it might just be that idiots are attracted to the Internet.

Anyway, one day a few years ago I stumbled upon a thread where some dude named “Tekcos” had posted a picture of his friend, John Leslie pulling some strange-ass smile. I don’t know what he was trying to get out of the situation but within hours it was the subject of wild and distasteful photoshop jobs.

The thread most likely would have died out very quickly if it wasn’t for me and my friend keeping it alive with our own photoshops that constantly pushed the topic to the top of the most active list. It was good clean fun and no one got hurt, except for possibly Tekcos who reported that John had found out his head was getting photoshopped online and then beat him up outside of the Doom Movie.

So weeks went by and my friend and I made photoshop after photoshop until one day the topic disappeared from the face of the earth. All our work had been removed from the internet which was a slap in the face when things like “The Fart Button” and those “Say SOMETHING!” Smiley cunts still populate it.

I didn’t go quietly into the night and instead immortalised the forum topic in a flash movie  which next to no one saw. The graphics get a bit iffy in this one but the heart and message is there so I still feel it’s one of my best works. Looking back on this I realise how bad I was stuck on “tweening”. Basically the half arsed way of animating where you just select something to move from “point a” to “point b” and let the animation program do the work for you. Nowadays I am more confident in Frame by Framing but I still am susceptible to a shitty tween now and again.

Recently I decided to upload that file onto YouTube through the use of Flash’s shitty inbuilt AVI converter.

I may not be able to bring you flash files direct to this blog due to wordpress.com’s limp dick flash embedding qualities but I can bring you YouTube videos.

The video is after the jump.

A screenshot from the cartoon

For anyone not in the know, Madness Day is a tribute to the Madness flash series created by a dude called Krinkels. It basically features one weird looking dude beating the piss out of other weird looking dudes. It is good mindless fun and very deserving of a day of flash tributes.

My flash tribute is rather gaily entitled, “A Madness Mystery” (I really couldn’t think of another name). My cartoon moves away from the more mindless violence aspect and instead focuses almost solely on some strange story surrounding roofies and waking up in strange places.

As opposed to the majority of my other work on Newgrounds that goes largely unnoticed this one has gotten a bit of attention. Not front page attention no, but that Krinkels dude who created saw fit to review it and tell me he liked it, which was very positive to hear.

That’s not to toot my own horn but this is my blog so if I want to horn toot I fucking well will.

The top 10 submissions on Madness are each in the running to win a cash prize ranging from $1500 to $250. Which to me, is very very good money and I scraped ten I may just spray my shorts.

It’s highly unlikely that’s the case as my style of animation is somewhat different to the majority of artists out there (read: not as good). But it has the backing from the creator and another high profile artist so I am remaining optimistic.

Sup.

Hello and welcome to Flash KO.

If you are reading this it is either because, a) you started reading this site when it was in it’s infancy, which makes you awesome or b) I’ve gotten lazy and this is the only post on this website.

Either way, welcome.

This blog aims to just to be an outlet for me during the creative process of making a flash cartoon or just venting about all things mixed martial arts.

I have a high ranking on the only place worth submitting flash cartoons to, Newgrounds.com and I have also blogged for well established MMA websites, FiveOuncesOfPain.com (when it was still a blog and not the eye crippling magazine format that has taken over its soul) and MMARated.com (albeit for a little while before I got lazy).

I have much to say and hopefully the drive to do it.

If you have just found this place, stick around, it could possibly be fun.